If sex feels uncomfortable—or even painful—you’re not the only one. In fact, up to 3 in 4 women experience painful sex at some point in their lives.
But just because it’s common doesn’t mean it should be ignored. Pain during sex, also called dyspareunia, is often a sign that something in your body needs attention or care. And the good news? There are ways to identify what’s going on and find relief.
What Does Painful Sex Feel Like?
Pain during sex can show up in many different ways. You might feel:
- Burning or stinging at the vaginal opening
- Sharp or deep pain during penetration
- Aching or cramping after intercourse
- Tightness or pressure that makes penetration difficult
- Dryness or friction that causes discomfort
Some people experience pain every time they have sex, while others feel it only occasionally—or during certain positions.
What Could Be Causing It?
There are many reasons sex might be painful, and often more than one factor is involved. Here are some of the most common causes:
1. Vaginal Dryness
Hormonal changes (like menopause, postpartum, or breastfeeding) or certain medications can lead to less natural lubrication, making sex feel dry or painful.
2. Infections
Yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis (BV), urinary tract infections (UTIs), or sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can all cause irritation and pain.
3. Skin Conditions
Conditions like lichen sclerosus, eczema, or dermatitis can affect the vulva and make sex uncomfortable.
4. Pelvic Floor Tension
Tight or overactive pelvic floor muscles can cause pain during penetration. This may be due to chronic stress, past trauma, or underlying health conditions.
5. Endometriosis or Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID)
Both conditions can lead to deep pelvic pain, especially during or after sex.
6. Vaginismus
This is a reflex tightening of the vaginal muscles that can make penetration painful or even impossible. It’s often linked to anxiety, fear, or trauma.
7. Emotional or Psychological Factors
Mental health matters too. Stress, anxiety, body image concerns, and relationship issues can all contribute to how your body responds to sex.
How to Talk About It
If you’re experiencing painful sex, know that it’s okay to bring it up—with your partner, your doctor, or both. It might feel awkward at first, but you deserve to be comfortable and supported.
Try saying something like:
“Lately, sex has been uncomfortable for me, and I want to figure out what’s going on.”
Your OB/GYN or a pelvic health specialist is a great place to start. They can perform an exam, run tests if needed, and help create a treatment plan that works for you.
Treatment Options
The right treatment depends on the cause of your pain. Here are some options that might be recommended:
Lubricants and vaginal moisturizers
Great for dryness and friction—look for water-based, fragrance-free options.
Topical creams or prescription medications
For skin conditions or infections.
Pelvic floor physical therapy
Can help relax and retrain tight or overactive muscles.
Hormone therapy
Especially useful in menopause-related cases, if appropriate for your health history.
Counseling or sex therapy
Especially helpful if anxiety, trauma, or relationship concerns are part of the picture.
You Deserve Comfortable, Enjoyable Intimacy
Painful sex can take a toll—not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too. But it’s not something you have to accept or deal with on your own. There are answers, options, and support available.
Talk to a healthcare provider. Get curious about your body. Ask questions. Advocate for yourself.
Because sexual health is real health—and you deserve care that makes you feel safe, understood, and whole.
